The Role of Predatory Leadership in Workplace Bullying

I recently attended an insightful presentation given by Amy Shannon of Pinnacle Leadership Solutions at which she talked about “Workplace Bullying – The Silent Epidemic.”  The statistics that were presented were staggering:
·    35% (an estimated 53.5 million Americans) of the U.S. workforce report being bullied at work
·    72% of workplace bullying is done by people in positions of authority
·    43% of bullies have an “executive sponsor” who protects him/her from being disciplined for the behavior

So what is the definition of workplace bullying? According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, it’s defined as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment, verbal abuse, or conduct which is threatening, humiliating, intimidating, or sabotage that interferes with work or some combination of the three.”  Some people may dismiss these behaviors saying “Oh, that’s just how he is – he doesn’t mean anything by it.”  Or “She’s just having an off day.”  The truth is, people who use predatory leadership behaviors such as bullying to influence others are doing it with the intention of creating submission through fear.  Most likely they know exactly what they are doing and why they are doing it.

Employees on the receiving end of bullying are often made to feel that they are “troublemakers” and may end up being re-victimized by managers and human resource staff who don't understand the nature of the problem or don’t enforce policies that are in place.  Not addressing an employee’s concerns about a co-worker or boss who is exhibiting bullying behaviors can be costly on several levels.   Employees who are being bullied are likely to be less productive, take more sick days and experience much higher levels of stress, which can lead to a multitude of health issues.

In addition to the above mentioned effects, employers who do not address bullying may be setting themselves up for legal issues.  If an employee reports bullying to the human resource department and nothing is done to address the employee who is doing the bullying, the employee who is being victimized may sue the entire organization for the damages caused by the bully (physical and emotional health issues, economic effects).  That seems like a large liability for an organization.  Yet, as mentioned earlier, “43% of bullies have an executive sponsor who protects him/her from being disciplined.”

All of this leads to the question we need to be asking “Why does this behavior happen in the first place?” Bullying is often tied to a perception that power is obtained through fear and intimidation.  People have subscribed to this theory of predatory leadership for thousands of years.  We perceive that the individual that acts aggressively toward others is the “leader” and the rest of the group follows out of “respect” so this has been the leadership style most widely practiced.  The reality however is that in most groups, the leader is actually the member who is calm, assertive and confident in managing the social structure of the group.  Horses are an excellent example of this kind of non-predatory leadership.  The “dominant” horse – the one seen biting, striking or chasing the other horses in order to secure resources -- is thought to be the herd leader.  This is completely the opposite of what is actually true.  The herd leader is the individual who acts in a calm assertive manner while accessing resources as well as in reacting to potential threats.  The leader is able to assess how much influence needs to be exerted to let others know what he/she expects of them.  The communication may be as subtle as the movement of an ear or as blatant as a bigger body movement.  This is non-predatory leadership at its best and creates a much healthier environment for all because the intention is not to influence through fear but through trust.

Non-predatory leadership is not about being passive.  It is about using social and emotional intelligence to show respect, create boundaries, set an example of healthy relationships and understand that everyone has an important role in the group.  Bullying has no place in the practice of non-predatory leadership and organizations that have issues with bullying should re-evaluate whether they are providing the right training opportunities for their managers and employees to prevent a culture that allows and possibly even encourages predatory leadership as the way to manage employees.

I’ll write more about the concepts of non-predatory leadership in future blogs.  To find out how you can gain the skills to lead with social and emotional intelligence, check out our website at www.wagersway.com.

Why Coaching Skills Are Critical for Leaders and Managers

Executive Coaching Session at Wager's Way

 “The right coaching, at the right time, can pay huge dividends for employers seeking greater loyalty, productivity and contribution.” -- It’s Game Time: Your Practical Employee Coaching Playbook, SABA (2015)

I once worked as the manager at a small horse farm where I was the only full-time employee – meaning I not only was training the horses, but also was responsible for the daily barn work (feeding, cleaning stalls, and helping the owner with various projects).  The owner of the farm was “unique” and as someone who generally tries to get along with people and certainly don’t see myself as a slacker, I usually was able to pass off her comments to me on my job performance.  One day however, she said to me “You are the worst [manure – but that’s not the word she used] spreader I’ve ever seen!”  Now, to give some context here, she didn’t have a manure spreader that automatically spreads the manure so I had to put the manure in the tractor bucket and then “spread” it by tipping the bucket just right and driving backwards at just the right speed to try and spread the manure in a thin layer in the field.  Anyone who has ever had to spread anything using a tractor bucket knows it takes practice to figure out just how much to tip the bucket forward in order to spread whatever is in there without dumping it all out in one pile.  That was 20 years ago and I can still remember thinking “REALLY?!” when she said that to me.  I went home that day feeling confused and disappointed that despite all of the work I did for this person, while often enduring her off-handed remarks about various things, my boss’s only comment on my performance was that I was the worst spreader of manure that she had ever seen.  I think I worked for that person for about a year before moving from the area.  After that experience I went on to work for someone who was an amazing coach and mentor to me.  I ended up moving from a temp position in a mail room to being the executive assistant to the Chief Operating Officer of Communications and Public Affairs in less than 2 years because of her coaching.

Now that I do leadership and team development as well as executive coaching, I often hear from others that they have experienced similar kinds of comments regarding job performance.  If you have experienced that kind of “feedback,” did it make you want to do better in your job?  If you have given that kind of “feedback,” did you really think that it would make your employee want to do better?  I’m guessing not on both counts. While a lack of coaching and feedback can lead to good employees leaving an organization, giving feedback that is subjective and judgmental is just as damaging.  Ironically, coaching employees to improve performance is not something that comes easily to most people.  It takes practice and a great deal of understanding human behavior to be able to offer feedback that is productive.

So how can you develop your coaching skills to help your team’s performance (which ultimately makes you look better as a manager as well…)?  

• First, it’s important to understand exactly what you think your employee needs coached on – is there a gap in hands-on skills? Does he or she need help with time management?  Is the employee clear on what is expected of him/her?  Without answers to these questions, it is almost impossible to offer coaching that will produce the changes necessary to improve performance.  

•           Once you have identified what you feel needs improved, it’s important to “ask the right questions and engage in dialogue to increase your direct report’s awareness of his/her own choices, actions and behaviors, along with their impact – as well as gain buy in for the development plan” (Harvard Business Review Guide to Coaching Employees, 2015).  This is where having some basic knowledge of human behavior is helpful.  Not everyone has the same strengths and talents so while something may be easy for you, it may not be easy for someone else who has strengths and talents in a different area. (I recommend reading Strengths-Based Leadership by Tom Rath and Barry Conchie to learn more about how different strengths impact teams.)   

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•          Coaching is not teaching.  While you may feel tempted to want to “teach” the employee what you think is the “right” way to fix the challenge, it will be much more productive long term to coach the employee on finding the solution themselves.  If you can coach him/her to understand what is causing the challenge, you can then provide guidance to in seeking solutions.  Doing this well involves facilitating a discussion that allows the employee to think about what is really at the root of the issue.  Do they need more training? Are they not getting information from other departments or staff that they need? Are they having non-work challenges?  In their article “Coaching Through Questions” (T&D Magazine, March 2015) authors Steve and Kimberly Gladis state “A coaching approach that relies more on asking questions than giving answers better engages employees.”

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•           Be sure to reframe how the employee describes the situation to be sure you are not interpreting it through your own experiences.  Repeat what you heard him/her say – “So what I hear you saying is that you feel that you don’t have the appropriate skill set for this project.  Is that correct?” If the employee confirms this is the issue, then you can work with him/her to develop a plan to address the problem.  When someone reframes what we say and gives it back to us, we can confirm or correct that what we are saying is what is being heard and then work to find a solution that works.

Communication and an ability to provide constructive feedback is at the heart of being a successful leader or manager.  It is critical that leaders and managers at all levels acquire the skills necessary to be able to facilitate coaching dialogue with their team members.  Becoming an effective coach will make you a better leader or manager and will ultimately benefit the entire organization by having team members who are happy, productive and loyal.

Want to improve your coaching skills?  Contact us info@wagersway.com to find out how we can make you a leader that people want to follow!

Why Won't This Employee Do What I Want!

“They [business schools] rarely allow room for students to develop intra-personal skills, or the skills that come from being a self-aware person.” – Elad Levinson, Senior Organization Effectiveness Consultant

I read the above statement in Mr. Levinson’s blog titled “Training is a Necessity, Not a Luxury.”  As an advanced facilitator who owns a professional development consulting business, I of course was intrigued with much of what Mr. Levinson wrote.  Granted he was also selling his program, but the content of his blog is very much in line with what I experience in marketing my program – organizations have a difficult time understanding the importance of developing their employees through training, especially as it impacts their bottom line.

I am passionate about helping people realize their potential.  My work is not just a job – it’s filled with purpose and it is tremendously rewarding to watch my clients gain insights about themselves that help them to be better leaders, team members, family members, etc….  The challenge is getting potential clients to see how their misconception of the importance of training and coaching employees is having a detrimental effect on their organizations.  Over and over managers can be heard using the following descriptions of their staff: “lazy, unmotivated, unskilled, unwilling, disengaged….” the list could go on and on.  While it’s true that there is a percentage of employees who honestly do deserve those kinds of descriptions, I would offer a different perspective for managers to think about in how they interact with their employees.

In my equine assisted action learning workshops, I hear many of the same descriptions noted above when clients are interacting with the horses.  What I know about horses (after 30 years of working with them) is that they react to what is communicated (or not communicated) to them - both verbally and non-verbally.  And how we communicate with them is highly dependent on how we interpret their behavior.  If we interpret the horse’s reluctance to do something as being stubborn or lazy, then our reaction to them will be reflected as such.  How do we generally react to someone who we interpret is being stubborn or lazy? Usually with some kind of strong pressure, with the intention of making that person do what we want.  And when they don’t do what we want, we decide it is they who are the problem. This reaction rarely is successful with horses or people (when they are given the choice of whether to engage or not).  What if, just for a moment, we consider that what we perceive to be stubborn or lazy is actually protection or calm assertiveness?  Is it possible that someone’s “stubbornness” or “laziness” is actually their way of communicating that we aren’t being clear in what we want?  If we changed our perception of a behavior to reflect the latter, how might that change our interaction with the employee?

The only way for managers to gain a thorough understanding of how to see situations differently is through training that helps them gain awareness of themselves and how they interpret the behaviors of others.  If organizations want to reduce turnover, especially with non-management staff, then they need to invest in training their managers to develop the skills needed to realize that employees who are reluctant to complete a task, may not be stubborn, lazy, unwilling, etc…. They may need to be communicated to more clearly and coached on how to complete the task.

Communication is a key component in successfully leading and managing team members.  And learning to coach employees through effective communication is a skill that is critical in today’s work environment.  Are you investing in your managers?  If not, you may be affecting your bottom line and impeding the ability of your organization to stay competitive.

Wager’s Way is offering a full day workshop on “Coaching Employees to Maximize Engagement,” July 17, 2015.  For more information, visit our website at www.wagersway or e-mail me at ginny@wagersway.com.

"Show 'em who's boss" -- Really?

(http://swebman.com/2013/04/29/boss-vs-leader-2/)

I’m sure that most people have seen the image that has circulated on Facebook featuring a list of traits that differentiate a “boss” from a “leader.”  I think this is an important distinction to make in light of how these opposite styles of leadership can affect an organization.

On occasion when I was teaching riding to kids, parents would be nearby, watching proudly at the sight of their child happily leading a thousand pound horse to the grooming stall.  As often happens with inexperienced horse handlers, the horse would sometimes veer “off course” to the hay pile that was just beyond the grooming stall.  When the child struggled a bit to figure out what to do, parents would quickly say to them “You need to be the boss of that horse and make him do what you want.” 

     

      Okay, let’s chew on that statement for a moment.  

A. What does “be the boss” mean to a 12 year old, who has likely expressed disdain at being bossed around by anyone?  Words and phrases in the thesaurus describing “boss” include: “Command, Bully, Give orders in a demeaning manner and Person in charge.”   To most kids and adults I know, none of these words represent positive attributes.  In fact, most people clearly state their dislike of other people who exhibit those characteristics.  And, I find that many people are actually uncomfortable with the thought of being “the boss.”  My guess is that most people don’t want to be called “the boss” as they believe that it paints them in a negative light.

      B. What is the parent inferring when they use that phrase?  Where is the parent getting their reference of the term “boss” from?  When people use the phrase “you need to be the boss” I immediately begin to wonder what their reference point is for it.  Do they have a “boss” who “makes” people do what the boss wants?  Or are they themselves “the boss” who tries to make others do what they want?  As I work with individuals and groups in my equine experiential leadership and team development program, the notion of “being the boss” is one that quickly becomes a point of discussion when people realize that it is not the way to lead others in a way that creates trust.  The horses are very good at providing non-judgmental feedback to support this.    

C. Do the actions of “being the boss” really make a horse – or people for that matter -- do what you want? Going back to the parents encouraging their child to “be the boss and make the horse do what you want” -- have you as an adult ever tried to “make” someone do what you want and been successful in the long term?  While horses can be extremely compliant, they also are quite a bit more powerful than humans and if they really don’t want to do something, they don’t have to.  If you’ve ever been bucked off a horse, you know what I’m talking about.  When you think of someone who is bossy, what are the actions that you associate with that?  I’m guessing they are not actions that create a warm and fuzzy feeling for you or encourage you to want to go along with them.  Going back to the thesaurus: “Command, Bully, Superior, Give orders in a demeaning manner….”  In most instances, these are not the actions that make people (or horses) willingly follow someone.

Certainly there are times (with horse and humans) that we need to be insistent on getting our needs communicated - especially if there is risk of harm.  But in most cases when people use the phrase "Show them who's boss" it is simply a way to portray dominance, which is not leadership.

What if, instead of advising their child to “be the boss and make the horse do what you want,” the parent said “be the leader and the horse will come with you” – would this change the interaction?  How many organizations have too many people in leadership positions thinking that “being the boss” is the way to get people to do what is needed?  I’m guessing your response is “Too many.”  I agree.  So let’s start changing our leadership vernacular. Trust and a willingness to follow are not the result of “being the boss” – but they ARE the result of being an effective leader who communicates clearly with intention, empathy, compassion and an understanding of what motivates different individuals.  It’s what horses respond to and I believe it’s what people want as well.

Taking Active Learning to a Whole New Level

By Paul Andrew Johnson, Ph.D.

Crawford County CU Lead is a leadership development program with a focus on community involvement. Our leaders make a difference, not just in the workplace or in the family, but in the community, as well. We believe that when it comes to transforming communities, not only does leadership make a difference, it is the difference!

Over the past four years Wager’s Way has become a keystone experience for our CU Leaders. Wager’s Way takes active learning to a whole new level! Through the Wager’s Way experience, our leaders learn that leadership is the process of developing relationships through trust and respect, clear communication, and effective action; all essential elements of effective leadership in any setting.

One of the most powerful lesson’s of the Wager’s Way experience is that leadership is all about relationships, connections, and influence.  Just as ensuring the well-being of the herd is an ongoing process that relies upon strong and trustworthy leadership, team work, communication, active participation, and relationships, so it is with leading communities.

One of the most elusive aspects of leadership is motivation. Effective leaders are attentive to the needs and motives of followers and endeavor to help followers improve their performance and reach their fullest potential. As such, effective leadership involves motivating others to transcend their own self-interests for the good of the team, the organization, or the community. The Wager’s Way experience gives leaders the opportunity to explore what motivation looks like from a horse’s perspective. In so doing, leaders gain insight into their own leadership behaviors in ways that other group process activities just can’t match.

As a result of their Wager’s Way leadership experience, our CU Leader’s have learned that effective leadership means actively facilitating and supporting the leadership of others and the collective capacity of people to lead as they respond to situations they confront as organizations and communities.

How have CU Leaders evaluated their Wager’s Way leadershipexperience? One CU leader expressed it best: “Wager’s Way changed my life!”

Paul Johnson, Ph.D.

Associate Professor

Leadership and Policy Studies

Bowling Green State University

Bowling Green, Ohio